When we hear the term “human trafficking,” we often think of abductions, force, and physical restraint. While these tactics do occur, many traffickers rely on a far more subtle and deeply insidious method either online or in person – grooming. Understanding grooming is crucial to recognizing, preventing, and ultimately ending human trafficking.
What is grooming?
Grooming is a calculated process in which traffickers build trust with their victims, gradually manipulating them into exploitative situations. It is worth noting that groomers are not always strangers, and that more often than not they’re people close to us— family members, teachers, friends, youth leaders, family friends, coaches, and intimate partners. In fact, about 66 percent of traffickers are family members, intimate partners, and friends (International Organization for Migration).
Unlike the dramatic kidnappings portrayed in the media, grooming often begins with kindness, attention, and promises of love, opportunity, or support. Over time, this relationship turns manipulative and coercive, isolating the victim and making it difficult for them to escape.
Common Grooming Tactics
- Gaining Information and Building Trust:
- Traffickers target vulnerable victims who have emotional neediness, low self-confidence, poor, marginalized, and unemployed, among others. They ask questions and listen to their victims through casual conversations, show affection, and offer help – creating a sense of security. The information gathered enables traffickers know victims’ vulnerabilities and put themselves in positions as problem solvers and do things that seem genuine but are intended to gain control. They buy gifts, offer exciting job opportunities, call or text more, and present themselves as good friends. At this stage, traffickers may do everything to make you feel comfortable and safe with them.
- Gradual Isolation:
- Over time, traffickers encourage victims to distance themselves from family, friends, and other support systems. This isolation increases the victim’s dependence on the trafficker, as they are now seen as trusted companions and the only ones who have the victim’s interests at heart.
- Manipulation and Abuse:
- After gaining trust, traffickers introduce subtle manipulations like guilt-tripping, making the victim feel responsible for the trafficker’s well-being, using emotional blackmail, threats, violence, and fear.
Why Grooming Works
Grooming can happen to anyone, but traffickers often target those who are young, isolated, or in need of support. The victim’s loyalty, love, or sense of obligation toward the trafficker can become so strong that they do not see themselves as victims. Again, once traffickers gains control over the victims, they will go to every length to maintain control through manipulative and abusive means. Shame, fear, and confusion further trap them in the cycle of exploitation.
Recognizing the Signs
- Sudden changes in behavior, friends, or lifestyle
- Unexplained gifts, money, or new possessions
- Withdrawal from family and friends
- Excessive secrecy or defensiveness
- Signs of emotional distress or fear
How Can You Help?
- Educate yourself about grooming tactics
- Talk to people around you about grooming tactics and online behaviors – Your younger child, teenagers, friends, co-workers.
- Maintain open, nonjudgmental communication with loved ones
- Pay attention to things that seem off and report suspicious behavior to trusted adults, authorities or helplines.
- Support survivors with empathy and access to resources.
Although a powerful tool for control and exploitation, grooming can be subtle and difficult to notice in time. Learning to recognize the signs and understanding how traffickers operate can help us protect ourselves and those we love.
You are not alone!
Sojourner House has a comprehensive advocacy program designed to support the specific needs of human trafficking survivors. Our clients have access to safe shelter, transitional housing, one-on-one counseling, support groups, legal assistance, and more.
This blog post was written by Faith Otchere.